Culture

Dec

2021

All Good Trads Welcome

Picture by 12-year-old A.M.

There’s a large “trad” movement going on. “Trad” being short for “traditional” and indicating some kind of striving towards traditional living and values. There seem to be two main “types” in the trad movement. Upon close inspection, I think these two groups are merely indicative of natural life stages and gender preferences and both may lead to the same place, at least, if each can better understand the other. In this discussion we’ll omit the “trad” individuals without virtue, without shame, and without good intentions.

On the more visible and perhaps popular road, we have women leading the way with an overtly feminine aesthetic, unabashed desires for starting families, having children, being stay-at-home mothers and wives who submit to their husband’s benevolent leadership, as well as cooking and cleaning for one’s household.

I don’t see anything wrong with the above, depending on how the details play out. But this representation of trad receives a great deal of criticism because so many participants on social media are making commentary and given how short form many social media happens to be, a nuanced representation of trad often goes out the window and an oversimplified one, with bold statements to suit the likes of successful Twitter engagement and triggering, is often the norm.

Since the masses are more emotional than not, this trad movement has turned off as many men and women as it has attracted. But that’s likely due to a high number of young member commentary. Tweets by 20-year-olds receive extra slack from me on account of remembering some of the things I said at that age. We aught not abandon wholesome youth, but gently guide and encourage them. I don’t see anything wrong with turning off some people either, as you can’t stand for much these days without creating division. The issue for some seems to be the agitation they feel when their traditionalist views are mocked and misunderstood or misrepresented due to whatever has been observed from the more mainstream depiction of trad which is often lacking nuance.

So what is the other represented path for the traditional movement? It’s more understated, for certain. Women are less in front of the camera for this one, aiming to share more via words than pictures. If they do share pictures, there are usually more objects of creation than selfies involved. Many men take part in the leadership of the movement on this side. The aesthetic component isn’t quite the same. There seems to be more focus on what is being done, what is being made, and what needs to be in the future versus a feeling, a wish, or a moment. The values are generally the same but they are more consistently and clearly tied to reasoning and historical precedence. For example, marriage before children can be spread as a popular idea with cute rhetoric and beautiful photos of brides, grooms, flowers, cake, and babies. The fantastic imagery can border on fantasy and can come off like a focus on the material versus the essential. I regard this as mostly youthful enthusiasm. The more grown up trads tend to employ reasoning regarding why marriage before children is a gamble and may encourage or coach others in their efforts to properly vet a potential marriage partner or improve relationships. This path is viewed as more of a mature, practical, actionable approach.

So both have a similar end goal and vision for the future but one is more feminine, shallow, and fun, and the other more masculine, deep, and serious. But the former cannot be discounted in the power it holds because women seeing inspiring imagery and opinions from other females inevitably helps lead towards monumental real life actions. If a young woman is “shallowly” inspired to gain commitment before having children, given she isn’t misled about how to go about finding a good man, she still wins and can in time safely learn more life-enhancing wisdom. Her experience will explain to her exactly why that decision was a good one, beyond what she knew at the time.

I’m a female and I smile at feminine aesthetics and short quippy phrases I agree with even if they exclude all nuance from a discussion, but my style is generally introspective and philosophical and I enjoy all the practical and intelligent reasoning which supports traditionalism. Understanding human behavior on a relational, civilizational, and and historical level helps one to arrive at many conclusions regarding traditional norms. These are more thoroughly discussed in the latter movement I describe. I find these discussions highly critical to engage in because, while young, I believe I was preoccupied to some extent with my wedding gown, hair, fitness, and make-up. I am now, at age 38, a seasoned wife and mother and much more keenly aware of the gravity of my role. I wish I could go back in time and not just don a more feminine attitude and appearance, but also learn about the delicate nuanced dance and relationship between men and women, mothers and their children, fathers and their children, and between families and the overall community surrounding them. With a deeper understanding, I would have been a better wife and mother and community member from the start. Thus this website mostly starts from a basics and psychological point of view, going over what creates our mindsets and why certain ideas are perhaps good or not. Yet, you’ll notice I write about appearances, and other seemingly less important topics, too. There are plenty of men and women out there that do the same. I consider all these different topics part of a holistic approach–they all matter to me though I don’t give them all equal priority.

In general, the fun and light trad movement gets many women in the door, and hopefully, their being lovely, family-oriented, attracted to virtue, and willingness to respect men should then lead them to worthy men with whom they can commit and grow families and learn much more about the intricacies of relationships, civilization, health, and success which have so recently been tragically abandoned.

Valid criticism of anyone or any idea in the traditionalist movement is called for as truth always needs to be a priority. And I emphasize caution towards the assumption that older is automatically better, as that is objectively untrue. Some traditions need to be undone over time with our evolving wisdom. But certain traditions need to be protected, nourished, and passed on as they are golden and were hard earned by our ancestors.

Overall, I applaud the gorgeous and excited young women and men being energetic and vulnerable about a traditional lifestyle. I hope that in their excitement, they manage to use enough available wisdom to be successful in their endeavors. I trust many will do well. And I do see many young traditionalists with a great deal of humility and willingness to learn. Life beautifully matures all those who start out on a solid foundation and never give up. And I wholeheartedly cherish the knowledge and experience that the elders and the more philosophically bent members have to share. Those who have done the things we think are ideal and done them well, should get our close attention. Perhaps this is just one of the stories as old as time where the inexperienced and newly exposed receive patience and support and the successful and experienced lead the way with their example.

It’s thrilling to consider how many people of all ages are looking upon the beauty and wisdom of the past, working adamantly to improve the present and future, prioritizing the family unit, prizing virtues, morals, ethics, and striving for a simple but wonderful life comprised of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

Together, we’re going to make it.

Sep

2021

The Great Power of Handed-Down Wisdom

Image by 12-year-old A.M.

Handed-down information drives a culture. Ideally, this information and the associated habits lead to the flourishing of a society. Better wisdom makes for a better culture which makes for a more successful people. And that’s why so much wisdom has been carefully maintained, memorized, repeated, and written down as long ago as possible. Wisdom is hard-earned and therefore a precious gift to pass on, particularly if one wishes their descendants to thrive and avoid learning the same brutal lessons all over again. You and I may be tempted to think we are much more refined and advanced than our Middle Age ancestors, but are we really? Or are we simply born into a more advanced society, with a huge reservoir of well-established wisdom and information for us to benefit from?

When mothers taught their daughters how to cook and sew and fathers taught their sons how to fight and hunt, they were ensuring their child’s ability to one day have value in the eyes of others as well as to survive. A parent values their child no matter what but that’s not the reality of the world of adulthood. Once we grow up we must somehow earn our keep or forge a path towards independence, where we care for ourselves. There’s no other way. So in history, women who were taught valuable skills were much more likely to be cared for one day and competent, high-value men got to procreate whereas the others did not. Nature deals a harsh blow to all those who don’t meet the minimal usefulness standards of the time. In today’s world, we have intercepted nature’s ways, but the point still stands. For example, parents in recent times have bent over backwards to get their children through college, believing that a degree should help ensure their child’s ability to care for themselves and their family.

Wisdom is created the way water carved out the Grand Canyon many years ago. It takes a long time for a valuable bit of information to be widely accepted and disseminated. Even today, where you can spread an idea around the world in no time, there’s no guarantee your great idea will be understood or treasured in the minds of others. Established wisdom lasts because it has gone through a long and arduous process of acceptance and proven itself over time. Whatever wisdom you can attain in life and then act upon, will make your life better.

Do you know what a gift wisdom is to those without the easy ability to know what to do? There are plenty of people who require lots of respectful guidance and leadership. Otherwise they too often do the wrong thing. This is all of us at some point or other. An effective and successful culture can pass on its wisdom to all in the tribe and everyone benefits. I’m not smart enough to figure out certain things and so I’ve been grateful for those who have passed on wisdom to me. When they also lived virtuously, they inspired my trust and confidence. Thus, I have in plenty of cases, taken their advice and benefited greatly from it. It’s important to remember that not everyone in any group has the same level of competency and intelligence. Those with a bit less ability to problem solve and choose the correct path before them can do quite well in life if they’ve been handed down a good quantity of valuable wisdom to follow. They should be taught some level of critical thinking and how to keep an open mind if possible, but at least they can fully participate in keeping civilization going without undermining it.

One of the most beautiful things about handed-down information is that, even though it’s generally an extremely necessary and positive act to question things, you don’t have to thoroughly understand or first question many pieces of wisdom to benefit from them. You can simply remember that a snake with a particular pattern and distinct eye is venomous and choose to act on that information. And you’ll be better off for it, without having needed any additional experience or intelligence. The only other key thing you’ll need is whatever creates the will to motivate you to follow through on the warning. However, if you’re raised to have been alongside an adult when this snake has appeared, and they successfully averted an attack, then you’d be conditioned to do the same, without much questioning or need for motivation. You’d be acting almost out of pure instinct. If you trust your parent or fellow tribe member, you’re likely not to question too much of their advice.

There’s a crucial element that needs to be present for a culture’s handed-down ways alone is not the answer to all our problems. Every tribe or community needs to have its wisest, smartest, and strongest members be virtuous. Others who can get close do doing the same should try. And those who have the hardest time would ideally follow the leaders who are recognized as the good examples. If leaders become corrupt, immoral, or weak, a civilization will inevitably fail. If you’re an intelligent and capable human specimen, consider your responsibility to virtuously lead others via your example.

I didn’t understand certain advice given to me by my father when I was a teenager. For whatever reason, some of it was immediately stored away on a back shelf in my brain. Over the years, some of the advice has popped up at just the right time it was needed and highly influenced my behavior, leading me to ideal outcomes or resolutions of my problems. What if he had thought that his eye-rolling teenager wouldn’t be interested and shouldn’t be subject to unwanted information and had instead not spoken? I would agree with those who say one shouldn’t talk a teenager’s ear off and instead gain their trust and as well as their ear, but life wisdom is something we must pass on as parents, and better clumsily done than not at all. It is our duty. What was the point of our ancestors gaining and passing critical information on under much more difficult circumstances if we were going to shrug one day and risk the future?

This is the foundation necessary for parents. We must be virtuous examples that inspire following from our children. But we can scale this up to an entire community of people and see that the value of good and longstanding wisdom is greater than gold and those who best exemplify our values are paragons worthy of our attention. Our current society is all too focused on those who shock, entertain, and subvert. Stand against this by doing your best to seek out those who know more than you, who are not hypocrites, who lead stable, wholesome lives, who are consistent, who behave morally, and carefully consider their thoughts and actions.

If and when you have children, be make sure to pass on wisdom, good habits, and above all, your example of wise choices and behaviors. If there is a child who struggles with doing the right thing, any experience and exposure to good sense may save them in the end.

Sep

2020

How to Have Good Taste

Artwork by 11-year-old A.M.

We’ve been told that “good taste” is completely subjective but that’s not true. However, good taste varies widely so there’s no need to fear that having good taste is too limiting or exclusionary.

Here we’re defining “good” in a way that is wholesome, beneficial to healthy parties, and just. Thus this guide is going to differ from others because good taste is interpreted and defined in all kinds of ways.

When we’re born, we are wild and uncivilized. We rely on our parents and environment to guide our behavior as we grow. In reality, there is right and wrong, good and bad, beautiful and ugly, and true and untrue. We’re taught how to discern these differences and what criteria to apply. In today’s world, much is acceptable which wasn’t always and more so, there has been a movement to invert reality. Now, what is up is down and vice versa. That’s why for some, learning how to have good taste may be helpful or necessary.

We’ve been subjected to decades of confusion on the matter. We’ve been told anything goes. If you’ve ever used a quality tool after being frustrated while using a cheap one, you understand that not just anything goes, at all.

How to Have Good Taste

Clothing, art, music, architecture, food–there’s a wide range of variability and styles, but despite this, they can all have something in common if they’re in good taste:

Quality
Skillful
Wrought or derived from virtuous behavior
Not created to destroy or subvert truth
In support of health and wellness

“Good taste” supports what is true, good, and beautiful and we stand to benefit from remembering that if it doesn’t support these three things, perhaps it isn’t in good taste.

Train Yourself to Recognize Good Quality

You can teach yourself how to spot quality in an instant. It simply takes practice. Ask yourself if something was created to endure? Does it inspire or uplift? Is it actually beautiful? Was it made for a noble purpose? Does it go against what is true? If it’s a tool, does it work properly?

Have you ever seen a beautiful item pertaining to an aesthetic you do not particularly like? Wasn’t it easy to recognize its beauty and quality, nevertheless? Quality shines regardless if it is in your preferred style or not.

How to Cultivate Good Taste

Pick your favorite breakfast and dissect it. Is it healthy? Is it the best quality you can afford? Do you serve it in a way that has some aesthetic appeal? Do you take the time to enjoy each bite?

If you said “no” to any of the above questions, consider asking yourself why you don’t eat a better quality breakfast. Try upgrading this meal with a few adjustments and see if that makes any difference. Look at quality foods from all over the world. They have certain elements in common, such as freshness and reasonable serving sizes. The key is to incorporate those basic elements of quality and goodness as much as you can.

Analyze your wardrobe. Is it the best quality you can get? Does your clothing and shoes fit properly? Is it practical and in harmony with your lifestyle? Does it feel like you wear a style that is authentic to you? Do you care for your clothes and shoes? Do your clothing choices say something positive or negative about you? Can people read you accurately based on the way you dress or are you misleading them? Can your outfits be worn around children?

Try refining your wardrobe based on how you answer these questions. Some of us have very little funds for this area, but we can still do the best with what we have. It is likely better to have 10 outfits that speak highly of you and suit your life and personality versus having nearly unlimited options of mediocre outfits that do not.

Take a close look at your media consumption. What does it say about you? What could someone say to describe you if all they had to go on was the books, news, articles, movies, tv shows, and music you consume?

People may live one way and secretly listen to a shocking music style. Most wouldn’t bat an eye. For your own purposes, ask yourself if your music choices provide you with positive value. Consider the messages you listen to and if those messages are in line with your values in life. Would you be ashamed if your child or grandparent listened to it?

We’re highly influenced by media choices and filtering these accordingly is one way to protect our minds from toxic elements and low quality information.

When you support high quality media sources, you help sustain and spread that which you consider worthy and good. It’s one thing to say we agree with something and another to actively support it.

Tools and lifestyle products. From hammers to soap, we all use many products. Paying attention to the material and make of the products we buy and the consequences of using them can make for a wise investment into your health, safety, and keep you from acquiring extra and unnecessary purchases.

Pay attention to the details of what you’re about to purchase. Try to avoid cheaply made products if you need something to last. Support products made by companies or local community members you respect. Go for quality as much as you can. Be strict with your choices so that you don’t waste money or compromise on value.

“In good taste” used to be said often to indicate that something was reasonable, positive, healthy, and, and broadly appealing to one’s culture or society. We’ve replaced this with a lack of discrimination and a blind acceptance of everything. Within standards of good taste, we still have an immense selection to choose from. Don’t be afraid to apply strict quality standards and cultivate your own personal brand of inspiring, beautiful, meaningful, healthy, and purposeful good taste.

A young lady who can pick out that which is in good taste, is more capable of choosing a quality husband. We’ll address that crucial topic in another post.

Jul

2020

Our Great Civilization is Doomed if Women Don’t Like Children

Watch popular media and attend a high school. You’ll find a common and widely acceptable reaction among females towards children: “eww”, “ugh”, and the most charitable, “not any time soon”.

Why is this? Biologically, women are predisposed by nature to instead react more like: “aww”, “I adore children!” and “I want my own baby!”

So what has happened to create the self-destructive shift?

Feminism? The movement which seeks to compete with nature and push women towards masculine behavior and self-centered ways of thinking and living. A baby–a family, takes up most of a woman’s time and according to feminists, women deserve to live for themselves. Children are naturally needy and women have worked long and hard to free themselves from the chains wrought by the patriarchy. It is no wonder young women today view children as a hindrance and nuisance.

Humans must be guided to properly discern that which is beautiful, good, and true, or else they won’t. So when girls and women are influenced to view children as one of many options, a deterrent to their potential, and an inconvenience, well, it’s no surprise we see the reactions that we do among so many.

For those not too mentally disturbed, having a child changes much of ones ill-begotten perspective. Many women need only to experience motherhood in order to see the light, but too many never become mothers, at all, and others are too mind-warped to become decent mothers once the opportunity arises. The children of the latter are true victims of the world. They grow up with resentful “mothers” who often compete with them for attention or who treat them as a hobby among more worthwhile pursuits.

Traditionally, little girls are raised to respect and appreciate younger children. As they get older they very easily long to care for others who are younger, be sweet to them, and learn to take responsibility for their wellbeing. A large family used to provide the perfect training ground for future mothers. Now with many children not having more than one sibling, and extended families being more separated than ever before, it has become more unlikely that a young woman have any experience empathizing with children, caring for them, and understanding what they’re like.

Women now give the wrong kind of men their misplaced mothering attention and aid while they nurture small pets with such excessiveness, even these animals are suffering. Nature must be respected. Animals do not want to be treated like babies. And babies and children must be adored, protected, and made a priority in society.

Feminism has wielded its toxic influence for so long now that many of today’s children are often a difficult presence and nearly impossible to dote on. Young women taught to dislike children can hardly be blamed for doing so. The way children behave today only validate women’s opinions of them. It’s the destructive cycle completing itself.

We must break the cycle by being good mothers who behave in a traditional feminine way. We must want to care for children and treat them properly. We must respect them, protect them, and model the correct behavior for them to follow.

If we do these things, women will once again be captivated by the gentle, spirited, and curious nature of delightful and pleasant children and long to have their own. What comes from this is that more women will choose virtuous men to pair with.

How do we know they’ll choose virtuous men?

Simple. Because women who love children choose men who will become protective and loving fathers.

These pairings go on to produce the foundation of a good, safe, and noble society.

Jun

2020

Keep the Good and Leave the Bad

People who weigh in on the topic of traditional wisdom often criticize negative aspects seemingly choosing not to recognize that pleas for a return to traditional values can be discriminatory. For example, many now choose to peacefully parent and would not like to return to the way most children were treated in the past. We might also like to keep our modern surgery skills and knowledge, too. There is so much to choose from and the key is to use a solid mind to discern what we keep and what changes we adopt.

When looking at history we should keep the good and the leave the bad. Or more specifically, we should assess ancient wisdom and try to understand why it became tried and true. Perhaps there is a reason anchored so long ago that we must dig to get at it. You see, humans are the same after all these years. What is different is what we are taught as children and the culture or civilization we’re born into. We live so differently right now that the reasons for certain traditional behaviors is completely lost on us. Why did certain ways of life and thinking last so long? Is there a reason? Is it perhaps, a good reason? We owe it to ourselves to find out. It may be of utmost importance. After all, we don’t want to relive hard lessons that may have already been learned. That’s like going around in circles and disrespecting the fact that our ancestors suffered to get us where we are now.

Similarly, rejecting all from the modern world is not the answer. We have continued to learn. It’s tricky, of course, to wade through so much in order to keep the good and leave the bad, but this is again, exactly what we should do. We have brains for a reason and we need to use them for a successful life. Unfortunately, we won’t do so well to copy every one of our great-grandparent’s ways nor follow what everyone is doing now. We must pick and choose among the two.

Those who take all the good, no matter where it comes from, and reject all the bad are poised to be the most wise among us. This is how we thank our many ancestors for their hard-earned lessons and it is how we provide our children the best that our current knowledge can provide. This is true progress.

Apr

2020

Modern Woman Exists Because of Ancient Woman

Artwork by 11-year-old A.M.

As time passes, we learn a great deal about things and improve our lives as a result. And much of our lives rests fundamentally on ancient wisdom. There are lessons we’ve learned which have been time honored, meaning that they’ve worked for so long and deviations from this wisdom have been so disastrous, that the lessons have survived many years. While we should always use our current findings to check older information, there should be some willingness to find out whether old advice is just old or if perhaps it is true and wise and has been around so long for some good reason.

Modern woman has come a long way. Yet, we’re not necessarily better off in every regard. In some ways, it seems we’ve deviated from traditional wisdom and found ourselves stuck in painful or fruitless situations that do not resemble the idealized Hollywood version of events we’ve often been subjected to. Or take the topic of nutrition. Most would agree we’ve strayed far from the diets of our ancestors and have largely suffered as a result.

We can use all our current knowledge and choose to accept some ancient wisdom at the same time. By being wise we do not shun an idea just because it is new or not. We judge and make decisions based on the information and circumstances around each one.

And so it is a reminder to us women, that the reason we exist is due to the strategies and behaviors of those who came before us. It is wise to drop negative behaviors but first we must be sure we’re judging something correctly. This takes humility and openness and critical thinking, but it is well worth it. Our progeny are relying on us.

Culture

All Good Trads Welcome

The Great Power of Handed-Down Wisdom

How to Have Good Taste

Our Great Civilization is Doomed if Women Don’t Like Children

Keep the Good and Leave the Bad

Modern Woman Exists Because of Ancient Woman

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