All Good Trads Welcome

Picture by 12-year-old A.M.

There’s a large “trad” movement going on. “Trad” being short for “traditional” and indicating some kind of striving towards traditional living and values. There seem to be two main “types” in the trad movement. Upon close inspection, I think these two groups are merely indicative of natural life stages and gender preferences and both may lead to the same place, at least, if each can better understand the other. In this discussion we’ll omit the “trad” individuals without virtue, without shame, and without good intentions.

On the more visible and perhaps popular road, we have women leading the way with an overtly feminine aesthetic, unabashed desires for starting families, having children, being stay-at-home mothers and wives who submit to their husband’s benevolent leadership, as well as cooking and cleaning for one’s household.

I don’t see anything wrong with the above, depending on how the details play out. But this representation of trad receives a great deal of criticism because so many participants on social media are making commentary and given how short form many social media happens to be, a nuanced representation of trad often goes out the window and an oversimplified one, with bold statements to suit the likes of successful Twitter engagement and triggering, is often the norm.

Since the masses are more emotional than not, this trad movement has turned off as many men and women as it has attracted. But that’s likely due to a high number of young member commentary. Tweets by 20-year-olds receive extra slack from me on account of remembering some of the things I said at that age. We aught not abandon wholesome youth, but gently guide and encourage them. I don’t see anything wrong with turning off some people either, as you can’t stand for much these days without creating division. The issue for some seems to be the agitation they feel when their traditionalist views are mocked and misunderstood or misrepresented due to whatever has been observed from the more mainstream depiction of trad which is often lacking nuance.

So what is the other represented path for the traditional movement? It’s more understated, for certain. Women are less in front of the camera for this one, aiming to share more via words than pictures. If they do share pictures, there are usually more objects of creation than selfies involved. Many men take part in the leadership of the movement on this side. The aesthetic component isn’t quite the same. There seems to be more focus on what is being done, what is being made, and what needs to be in the future versus a feeling, a wish, or a moment. The values are generally the same but they are more consistently and clearly tied to reasoning and historical precedence. For example, marriage before children can be spread as a popular idea with cute rhetoric and beautiful photos of brides, grooms, flowers, cake, and babies. The fantastic imagery can border on fantasy and can come off like a focus on the material versus the essential. I regard this as mostly youthful enthusiasm. The more grown up trads tend to employ reasoning regarding why marriage before children is a gamble and may encourage or coach others in their efforts to properly vet a potential marriage partner or improve relationships. This path is viewed as more of a mature, practical, actionable approach.

So both have a similar end goal and vision for the future but one is more feminine, shallow, and fun, and the other more masculine, deep, and serious. But the former cannot be discounted in the power it holds because women seeing inspiring imagery and opinions from other females inevitably helps lead towards monumental real life actions. If a young woman is “shallowly” inspired to gain commitment before having children, given she isn’t misled about how to go about finding a good man, she still wins and can in time safely learn more life-enhancing wisdom. Her experience will explain to her exactly why that decision was a good one, beyond what she knew at the time.

I’m a female and I smile at feminine aesthetics and short quippy phrases I agree with even if they exclude all nuance from a discussion, but my style is generally introspective and philosophical and I enjoy all the practical and intelligent reasoning which supports traditionalism. Understanding human behavior on a relational, civilizational, and and historical level helps one to arrive at many conclusions regarding traditional norms. These are more thoroughly discussed in the latter movement I describe. I find these discussions highly critical to engage in because, while young, I believe I was preoccupied to some extent with my wedding gown, hair, fitness, and make-up. I am now, at age 38, a seasoned wife and mother and much more keenly aware of the gravity of my role. I wish I could go back in time and not just don a more feminine attitude and appearance, but also learn about the delicate nuanced dance and relationship between men and women, mothers and their children, fathers and their children, and between families and the overall community surrounding them. With a deeper understanding, I would have been a better wife and mother and community member from the start. Thus this website mostly starts from a basics and psychological point of view, going over what creates our mindsets and why certain ideas are perhaps good or not. Yet, you’ll notice I write about appearances, and other seemingly less important topics, too. There are plenty of men and women out there that do the same. I consider all these different topics part of a holistic approach–they all matter to me though I don’t give them all equal priority.

In general, the fun and light trad movement gets many women in the door, and hopefully, their being lovely, family-oriented, attracted to virtue, and willingness to respect men should then lead them to worthy men with whom they can commit and grow families and learn much more about the intricacies of relationships, civilization, health, and success which have so recently been tragically abandoned.

Valid criticism of anyone or any idea in the traditionalist movement is called for as truth always needs to be a priority. And I emphasize caution towards the assumption that older is automatically better, as that is objectively untrue. Some traditions need to be undone over time with our evolving wisdom. But certain traditions need to be protected, nourished, and passed on as they are golden and were hard earned by our ancestors.

Overall, I applaud the gorgeous and excited young women and men being energetic and vulnerable about a traditional lifestyle. I hope that in their excitement, they manage to use enough available wisdom to be successful in their endeavors. I trust many will do well. And I do see many young traditionalists with a great deal of humility and willingness to learn. Life beautifully matures all those who start out on a solid foundation and never give up. And I wholeheartedly cherish the knowledge and experience that the elders and the more philosophically bent members have to share. Those who have done the things we think are ideal and done them well, should get our close attention. Perhaps this is just one of the stories as old as time where the inexperienced and newly exposed receive patience and support and the successful and experienced lead the way with their example.

It’s thrilling to consider how many people of all ages are looking upon the beauty and wisdom of the past, working adamantly to improve the present and future, prioritizing the family unit, prizing virtues, morals, ethics, and striving for a simple but wonderful life comprised of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

Together, we’re going to make it.

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