Drawing by 11-year-old A.M.
What is femininity? Is it make-up? The color pink? Frills and lace? A high-pitched voice? Pitiful vulnerability?
While the above is often associated with it, femininity is actually the natural, healthy way of a female–the inherent traits generally expressed by girls and women.
Even girls and women whose personality drives them to have a simple and unadorned look can be very feminine. Their behavior, their choices, can easily reflect femininity. They can still nurture, be thoughtful, use their emotional availability, and practice modesty and restraint while exuding happiness and positivity.
These days, femininity is mocked and twisted into something it’s not. A healthy heart is warmed and inspired by it.
This is Glorious Femininity:
- a woman bending down to the level of a crying child and gently asking “what’s wrong?”
- a woman who uses her senses to add beauty to an environment
- a mother foregoing sleep to soothe her child who needs her presence
- a nurse attentive and empathetic to the cries of a patient
- a mother who tells her children how wonderful their father is
- a grandmother patiently helping her daughter feed her newborn
- a woman wondering if everyone in the room is comfortable, hungry, or in need of anything
- a wife who makes her husband’s favorite meal when she knows he’s having a tough day
- a sister who enthusiastically cheers and roots for her brother
- a female who calls her friend to check up on her and see if she needs cheering up
- a girl who makes up a sweet story with a happy ending
- a group of women who decide to pool resources and work together for their community
- a woman who patiently listens to her date speak in an effort to better understand and get to know him
- a daughter grabbing her mom or dad’s hand in a casual show of affection
- a girl who is gentle and playful with her dog or cat
- a grandmother tearing up when all beloved family gathers around her
- a wife who tells her husband that she believes in him
Coupled With Virtue, Femininity is Ideal
Some would read through this list and point out that men can do all these things, too, that it’s just compassion and patience and thoughtfulness. That’s true but females do these things more readily and more as a natural compulsion than males and their bodies and their natural roles are more in harmony with these behaviors. Males have different bodies, instincts, and natural roles and so they’re better at certain things–things that women can also do, but not as well.
Femininity in modern times is often suppressed due to culture. Even still, it manages to leak out of females all the time. For example, some women say they aren’t feminine at all, don’t like children, and think caring for a child would be gross and exhausting but will then get a pet and dote on that pet in such an attentive, gentle, and loving way, one wonders if that kind of female realizes that she is indeed feminine. She may just have a warped attitude towards children and motherhood and a negative view of femininity.
Femininity Appeals to All
We like someone making us delicious and nourishing food. We like receiving a sweet expression. We like someone being concerned with our feelings. We like being made comfortable. We like shows of unbridled joy and enthusiasm. We like tenderness and care. We like gentleness and patience. We like loyalty and steadfastness. We like beauty and compliments. We like femininity.
Do not confuse femininity with sexuality or sensuality or girly behavior. Femininity is easily revealed in young girls as well as mature or elderly women, women who do traditionally male-dominated work, nuns, and even a female farmer who spends her days sweating in overalls. Femininity is a wonderful gift that doesn’t take away from the uniqueness of a woman, rather it is her natural undercurrent. However, it may be suppressed if one’s environment teaches one to do otherwise or consistently rewards masculine behavior in females.
Elsewhere we discuss how to regain, learn, or enhance one’s femininity. Please know that it’s not too late!