It does for many. But why? How did this happen? Have you heard of men on social media talking about how proudly and effortlessly feminine Eastern European or Asian women are? They are talking about the contrast to women of the West who often cringe at or avoid appearing vulnerable, submissive, and sweet.
Feminism has infected the minds of females in Western countries and made them ashamed of their own nature. Did you have a young girly phase that went away as you got through elementary school? Did you try to be as tough and aggressive as a boy? Did you want to “kick butt” and help prove to the world that girls can do anything boys can do? Did you feel compelled to get into STEM or video games to show up for the girl’s team in a male dominated space? Did you think babies were gross? Can you merely blush at a compliment and say “thank you” or must you use self-deprecating humor to awkwardly accept kind words?
For most, deep down, you are still feminine. It is your nature. The focus on people and their feelings, the aesthetic sensitivity, the nurturing, the wanting to make everyone around you feel seen and cared for–these traits are something you probably have within you.
There’s another level of femininity that women don’t want to experience. This is where the cringe factor comes in for many. They can be nurturing and dutiful mothers, sure, but sweet and vulnerable? That is hard unless you’ve never been conditioned to stop being that way. You likely were sweet and vulnerable as a toddler or little girl. If you were treated kindly, it was your nature. We’re told to compete with the boys in so many ways in our childhood. By the time we are young adults, we’ve toughened up so much in our attempt to be fierce and respected women, we end up being cold and harsh.
Ponder on this for a bit. Why would something natural like showing your joy and appreciation for someone be too embarrassing? Why would taking time to fix yourself up to look pretty make you feel strange or guilty? Awareness is the first step. From there, you can choose to let your femininity shine in the ways you’d like.
Some ask the question, “what if someone is a tomboy and doesn’t want to be feminine?” All females can be feminine, even the “tomboys”. Don’t conflate femininity with pink dresses. Some of the most masculine women parade in them. Try to focus on the behaviors and quality of character you bring. Here are examples of femininity to consider.
Don’t forget Joan of Arc. She was feminine and no one would dare refer to her as weak.
If femininity and feminine behavior makes you cringe, simply as yourself why. It shouldn’t give us this reaction. Ask what or who changed you.